Monday, February 20, 2012

Constantly Learning How to Live!

Fibromyalgia is a daily battle!

Each day you have to decide to take that first step & get out of bed. You have to decide to push through & live! As each new pain & health problem pops up you have to learn how to live with it.

You have 2 choices each moment of the day: 1. give up & just stop living or 2. figure out how to live with the pain and have a life.

I was at a point many years ago that I had given up. I gave in to the pain and just laid in bed unable to move. I was just listening to the doctors, taking tons of pills & just existing. I was miserable & my Hubby was miserable. I wasn't living.

Now I make the decision every day to get up & move. Even if it's just to the couch. On good days, I have to watch that I don't overdo.  It's a balancing act. It takes a lot of prayer! I don't have the knowledge or wisdom to know if I'm overdoing it. So I pray that God will stop me when I push too hard. I also pray that God will help me to move. I really can't do it without Him!

I'm finding that living with Fibromyalgia is a constant learning process. Each new day brings a new pain, a new struggle that threatens to overwhelm. I have to look at my current situation & try to learn how to cope. I don't think I'll ever stop learning how to cope. This broken life is a constant process...

A constant process of growing, coping, getting torn down, getting overwhelmed, failing & picking yourself up again. The point is, you need to keep going. Don't give up. Don't give in to the doubts, the fears, the anger, the overwhelming urge to quit.

You also have to keep a watchful eye out for surprises. The sinus problems that won't go away. The pain that comes out of nowhere. The stress from others. Ordinary problems that pop up. Any little thing can throw you off if you aren't prepared, if you aren't watching for them.

You have to be prepared to not give in to them. To not let things get to you. To shrug off the stress & let it roll of your back. You have to guard your tongue & not say something in pain/stress that you'll regret. You have to learn not to react on impulse. Many times our impulses are bad and our reaction to things are amplified. Many times our fibromyalgia causes us to take things wrong or get overly offended. We need to stop & breathe! We need to get input from a friend to see if we are over-reacting before we act & say or do something we'd regret, especially if it's our family.

All of this is easier said than done. I know I've snapped at my kids, said things I regret and given into the pain many times. When I do I have to say I'm sorry then pick myself up and start again. I have to constantly learn how to live with fibromyalgia!

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