Thursday, August 16, 2012


I've been reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book "Choosing Gratitude". In it, she states that we need to have gratitude in all things, even bad things.

I truly can say that I am thankful for all my health issues. No, I don't like them. I don't like pain. I don't like numbness & restless legs. I don't like sleepless nights. BUT I am thankful for them.

Through the pain, agony & tears, I have seen my God provide my every need. He has been my comfort on sleepless nights. He has been faithful to never leave me alone. Even when He didn't ease the pain, God gave me peace of mind to rest in Him.

One of the greatest gifts that God has given me through this painful journey has been the privilege of sharing with others what an Awesome God I serve! My Creator made me. He loves me & died for me, a nobody. I don't deserve to be saved, yet He did save me. He walks with me throughout this life.

Though I walk through difficult times that I don't understand, I know that God is there. I know He has a reason for this all. I know that even though I don't know why, He does & it's all for good. And I wouldn't trade all this for the world!

Without the sleepless nights, I wouldn't have the pleasure of praying for my family & friends at night. Without the pain, I wouldn't be able to sympathize with those who hurt. If my life was not just like it is, pain & all, I wouldn't be at the place in my life where I could give thanks to God for this all & in this all!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Fibromyalgia Setbacks!

Life with fibromyalgia can be so frustrating at times. I'll be doing really good. Walking 4-5 days a week, having low pain levels & losing 15 pounds. Then it all grinds to a halt. My weight loss stalls, daily headaches kick in as well as fatigue & achiness. It's frustrating because it hits out of nowhere.

To top it off, I've been dealing with my heart trying to race. This is something I've not had to deal with for 18 years. In 1994, I had a RFablation to kill a short circuit pathway in my heart (Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome). I've been trying to tell myself that I'm imagining it, but it's not working. Looks like I'll be heading to doctor again soon.

Sometimes it feels like my body hates me. I think my body parts get together to see how they can throw me for a loop today! Hey, let me pop a fever for no reason. Hey, how about a headache, we haven't had one of those for awhile. Hey, how about a pain here or there for no apparent reason.

It sure makes it harder to get healthy. I mean, it's hard for anyone to get healthy, but when you have fibromyalgia, your body fights it. You can't push your body really hard or it breaks. And then sometimes it breaks when you are not doing anything. Now I have to fight mentally. I can't let a setback by my body undermine all the good I've done so far. I have to convince myself that just because my body isn't showing the results of my discipline doesn't mean what I'm doing is worthless. I have to convince myself to keep going, to keep eating healthy & to keep walking. I have to convince my mind that this is not hopeless, it's just a small setback. I have to fight with my mind, my body & all the strength I can muster...