Thursday, October 20, 2011

Human Barometer

I think one of the worst things about fibromyalgia is that you are the mercy of the weather. My body is in tune with the weather. I know when a weather front is moving in before I look up the weather for the day. As the weather changes, so does my pain.

The weather we have now seems to be the worst. Cold, damp & windy. It's been this way for 3 days now. I'm not handling it very well. You'd think by now I'd have coping mechanisms in place for this kind of weather. But I can't seem to remember any. I started out achy all over. I'm cold & can't seem to get warmed up. I'm moody too so that doesn't help. I just want some sunshine!

Sorry to complain. I try so hard not to. I try to keep my emotions even-keeled and my mouth shut when I'm like this. I have to keep pushing myself to get out of bed & move. I don't want to give in to the pain & fatigue. I don't want to be bedridden again. I try not to lash out at my kids, but it seems like I end up doing that. I try not to isolate myself when that seems to be all I want to do. I have to fight the depression that follows the pain.

Fibromyalgia can be a very debilitating thing sometimes. You have to fight it. You can't give in to the pain & the fatigue & the darkness. You have to keep yourself going. You have to push harder than you've ever pushed sometimes. You have to pray more than you've ever prayed....

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