Monday, November 12, 2012

The big "D" word!

Fall has almost skipped us here in Indiana. We went from 80+ degree days to days in the 30s & 40s. Except for a mild day every once in awhile. What I wasn't ready for was the sudden onslaught of "winter symptoms". You know, the increased aches & the depression. Add to that hormone issues & you get a big mess.

You'd think after a lifetime of this, I would be prepared. I wasn't. And my family, especially Hubby, paid the price. What price is that? A grumpy, sad, tired, sick me. When I'm down, so is my whole family. The worst part is that I can see myself in this rut, but I can't get out.

I'm doing better the past few days. My Hubby prayed over me & my hormones have stabilized. We also had a few gorgeous days with lots of sunshine. I was able to walk some over the weekend. But I can see it's going to be a tough winter.

It may be time to get an anti-depressant. As most of you know, Fibromyalgia suffers already have low serotonin. Add Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) to it & my serotonin levels bottom out when the sunlight hours get short.

I truly hate medication, but there are times when I need it. My mind tells me I am being weak, but my heart is telling me that I need to do this for myself & my family. It's hard to admit you are depressed & need meds. People (including myself) judge you for taking anti-depressants & for being depressed.

I know that I am truly blessed. I have everything in the world to be joyful for. I am grateful. But I also know my joy is not based on my circumstances or health. You can be joyful but still be depressed. So I must seek help from my doctor.

Yes, I'm blogging to convince myself what I need to do. And just maybe, my struggle will help someone else in the same situation.

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