Thursday, May 3, 2012

Still waiting...

Still no answers as to what is going on with me. My spinal tap came back normal, but I have no idea what that means. I have a nerve conduction test tomorrow. It is the last of the testing that has been ordered. Will it provide answers?

Will my doctors figure out why my muscles feel cold & numb and then the next second have sharp electric shock type pains followed by burning? Will they figure out why one moment I'm walking fine & the next I feel like my legs are lead? Will they figure out why I'm so tired? Will they figure out why I have numbness & tingling throughout my body including my face?

So many questions & so few answers...

I wish I could tell you I'm "resting in Jesus" & I'm doing great. I could tell you that, but I'd be lying. I have to admit that I'm not handling the wait very well. I know in my heart that God knows my troubles & will carry me through whatever is going on. But I'm finding it hard to patiently wait on His timing! I'm finding it hard to be joyful in all things! I'm finding it hard not to lash out at my kids & Hubby! Ouch, admitting that one hurt. I'm finding it hard not to give in to the pain.

I'm struggling...

But I won't give in! I will keep fighting! I'll keep trusting! I'll keep waiting!

 

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