As I lay here in bed, it's the night before my neurology appointment. I'm struggling with a bad reaction to the sun. I seem to have hives & feeling a little blah. But that is nothing compared to the inner turmoil I'm struggling with.
I'm very anxious to hear what the neurologist thinks. I'm a little scared though. I've had bad experiences in the past with doctors. Because one doctor told me I was crazy & my fibromyalgia symptoms were all in my head, I fear I will hear that again. I know deep down there is something wrong & I know the MRI showed it, but I still fear the "it's all in your head" diagnosis.
I'm also praying I don't completely fall apart on the doctor. Some of my symptoms are a little scary. I'm praying for clarity of mind as I talk to the doctor. I want to be able to remember all the symptoms & not downplay them. I have a tendency to do that as I'm pretty good at hiding what's going on with me.
Hubby is working out of town so I'm going to be on my own. Fortunately my wonderful parents are coming up to help me around the house & with the kids. They will be here for me, but it's not quite the same as having Hubby here. I also have Rheumatologist appt. on Thursday, so it's a busy week healthwise.
I'm also a little stressed because at the same time as I'm getting all this health news, I have two kids with birthdays this week. My son is turning 9 tomorrow & my oldest daughter is turning 12 on Sunday! So trying to stay positive & celebrate them during this time is rough. And, I might not be able to make their birthday cake like I usually do. So frustrating!
Anyway, that's what's on my mind tonight. I'll post again soon when I get a diagnosis...