Has it really been 10 months?!

Wow! So much to update you on...

The last year has been rough. In December, I reached my highest weight ever despite barely eating. I was barely eating because nothing would set with me. I was having all sorts of digestive issues & pain. After several tests, it was determined that my gallbladder was not working.

In May, I had my gallbladder removed. Since then, I'm down around 60 pounds. I'm also able to eat more things & have less digestive issues.

I'm still dealing with my fibromyalgia and Raynauld's. Numbness & tingling comes & goes as well as circulation issues (blue fingers, toes & lips). Sinus issues have been ongoing since spring. And hot flashes & other menopausal symptoms have become a constant presence.

Despite all of that, I feel healthier than I have in awhile. I'm pushing through the symptoms & striving to move more, eat healthier & enjoy life. I'm focusing on God & what He has planned for me. I'm trying to remember to focus on Him & not my pain & symptoms.

Stress of life has also been a big factor. Family & friends with major health issues, deaths of family/friends, watching others go through some tough life situations plus major expenses (surgery, van repairs, etc.) have led to lots of stress. My heart has been burdened & my night-waking hours filled with prayers. All this plus some possible major changes upcoming have made this an interesting season of life.

This has been a very rambling post... If you've stuck through to the end, thank you! Will post more later....

 

Posted with Blogsy

Savella Update

So, tomorrow I will be 4 weeks on Savella. I'm totally up in the air about it. Stomach issues are the biggest down side to it. It's not been a magic cure all. I'm still achy. I seem to not have as much fatigue. I feel like I'm just waiting, with breath held, to see if it works. I thought I was losing weight, but now I'm not so sure. Still having the weird face numbness. Still struggling with emotions.

Guess I need to just wait & see...

Will the upset stomach ease? Will the weight start moving off? Will my pain levels ease up? Will fatigue continue to ease up?

In the meantime, I soldier on...

Posted with Blogsy

Frustrations & fears

Today is the day I start my new medication, Savella. I'm nervous about taking it even though I feel this is the right step for now. I'm nervous because I never know how my body will react. Lyrica didn't help & caused me to gain weight. Other meds have caused weight gain or mood swings. Some work for a few months then stop working. My doctor has high hopes for this med so I'm ready to try it. He even thinks it will help with all the weird symptoms I'm having.

Speaking of weird symptoms, I'm feeling so frustrated over them. When listing symptoms for my doctors, I get a long list of possible diagnosis. But when they run the tests (MRIs, blood work, etc) for those diagnosis, everything comes back normal! I mean, I'm glad the tests are normal as some of these diseases are nasty, horrible things. But it's so frustrating to have symptoms with no cause except "I guess it's just your fibromyalgia!"

My other frustration is my weight. For some reason, my body is determined to hold on to this weight. I've tried every eating plan imaginable (for 6 months or more each). I've eliminated carbonation & artificial sweeteners. I've done the low calorie thing, the Paleo thing, the whole foods thing, no gluten, no dairy, etc... It does NOT work. I still feel horrible & I still weigh more than I should. I try to walk but then end up down for 2-3 days in pain. It's so hard to be this way! I'm a doer. I like to help & do. But I can't! Ugh!!

I know God has a plan! I know God has a reason for me going through this. I sometimes wish I had a peek into God's plan. But I don't. I just have to trust in His plan. I just have to keep living life & seeking Him. I also need to keep my eyes on Him & not myself. When I do start getting fearful & frustrated, I know it's because I'm focusing on the wrong things!

I sat down to write this blog post because I was getting overwhelmed, sad & mad after reading Facebook. So many people are doing this plan or that plan for eating/exercise and having great results. I'm happy for them. I love seeing my friends get healthy. But I get sad for me. I get sad for my Hubby & kids then I get mad. But then I realize that God has us in this particular life! He knows the beginning & the end! He knows my frustrations. He knows our trials. He WILL use this for good! Who knows, maybe This is a training ground for my kids. Maybe one of the will be a doctor or a nurse or therapist... I do know they are learning compassion for those who have an invisible illness.

Posted with Blogsy

Change!

The last 3 months have been rough. New symptoms have drove me crazy. The ups & downs of being told possible diagnosis only to find out it's not that. Getting a few new minor diagnosis but mainly being told it's just my fibromyalgia. All this has been harder on me than I realized!
I went to see my primary doctor last Friday. Was totally shocked when I got on the scale! I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life! I broke down & cried in front of my doctor. Not because he yelled at me, but because he was so kind. He didn't lecture, he sympathized. He offered help if I want it. So, I've given myself 4 months (when my next appt is) to change my life. If I haven't made drastic improvements, then I'll go to the weight loss center.
On Monday, I changed my diet. Mostly protein & Veggies with a few fruits thrown in. No breads or pastas. No sugars unless in fruit. I've limited my diet drinks & drunk mainly water. I plan to stop the diet drinks soon, but didn't want to totally shock my system. One thing at a time!
On Monday, I also started exercising. It isn't much, just 30 minutes daily of walking or aerobics in the pool at the hotel. We have been traveling with Hubby so the pool was convenient. I feel it was a good way to start. Starting today, I will be doing some WiiFitPlus at home. I want to start walking too, but need to wait till the temperature outside drops as my body can't tolerate the heat.
I've set some goals for myself. I want to lose 15 pounds by August 10th. I also want to be walking atleast 2 miles a day by then. My long term goals are loftier. My total weight loss goal is 125 pounds. My fitness goal is to be walking 4-5 miles per day by spring & ultimately start running again & maybe do a 5k.
I know it will take hard work & strength. I know I will have bad days, but the end goal is worth it. That end goal is to be healthier & be able to do things with my kids & Hubby for years to come.
I've come to the realization that modern medicine will not help me! This is something I have to do for myself. I have to choose whether I am going to give into this fibromyalgia & let it ruin my life or whether I am going to fight! I am choosing to fight! I'm going to fight for myself & for my family! I was healthy once, I can get there again!

This is me 25 years ago! I'm determined to get back to something close to this!

My motivation!

My motivation & my best encourager!

I know this will be a tough fight but I also know it is worth it. It is very hard to post this as now everyone knows my goals & if I fail it will be very embarrassing & more devastating. It's hard to be transparent, but I know it is something I must do. Pray for me as I embark on this life change because I know it is only with God's strength that I will be able to do this!

Posted with Blogsy