Change!

The last 3 months have been rough. New symptoms have drove me crazy. The ups & downs of being told possible diagnosis only to find out it's not that. Getting a few new minor diagnosis but mainly being told it's just my fibromyalgia. All this has been harder on me than I realized!
I went to see my primary doctor last Friday. Was totally shocked when I got on the scale! I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life! I broke down & cried in front of my doctor. Not because he yelled at me, but because he was so kind. He didn't lecture, he sympathized. He offered help if I want it. So, I've given myself 4 months (when my next appt is) to change my life. If I haven't made drastic improvements, then I'll go to the weight loss center.
On Monday, I changed my diet. Mostly protein & Veggies with a few fruits thrown in. No breads or pastas. No sugars unless in fruit. I've limited my diet drinks & drunk mainly water. I plan to stop the diet drinks soon, but didn't want to totally shock my system. One thing at a time!
On Monday, I also started exercising. It isn't much, just 30 minutes daily of walking or aerobics in the pool at the hotel. We have been traveling with Hubby so the pool was convenient. I feel it was a good way to start. Starting today, I will be doing some WiiFitPlus at home. I want to start walking too, but need to wait till the temperature outside drops as my body can't tolerate the heat.
I've set some goals for myself. I want to lose 15 pounds by August 10th. I also want to be walking atleast 2 miles a day by then. My long term goals are loftier. My total weight loss goal is 125 pounds. My fitness goal is to be walking 4-5 miles per day by spring & ultimately start running again & maybe do a 5k.
I know it will take hard work & strength. I know I will have bad days, but the end goal is worth it. That end goal is to be healthier & be able to do things with my kids & Hubby for years to come.
I've come to the realization that modern medicine will not help me! This is something I have to do for myself. I have to choose whether I am going to give into this fibromyalgia & let it ruin my life or whether I am going to fight! I am choosing to fight! I'm going to fight for myself & for my family! I was healthy once, I can get there again!

This is me 25 years ago! I'm determined to get back to something close to this!

My motivation!

My motivation & my best encourager!

I know this will be a tough fight but I also know it is worth it. It is very hard to post this as now everyone knows my goals & if I fail it will be very embarrassing & more devastating. It's hard to be transparent, but I know it is something I must do. Pray for me as I embark on this life change because I know it is only with God's strength that I will be able to do this!

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I'm tired!

I hate being tired. This kind of tired is not your normal "I've had a busy day & I'm worn out" kind of tired. This is the "I'm feeling fine & then bam! I'm so tired I can't think" tired. It's the kind of tired I got in college when I'd been up for 48 hrs cramming for exams. Only I haven't been up that long & I was totally fine 2 minutes ago.

This kind of tired can happen at any moment. I was at Home Depot the other day when it hit. I couldn't remember my PIN number for my debit card. It hit in Meijer Saturday & I couldn't remember what I needed to get. It tends to hit toward late afternoon so I try to take it easy at that time of day. It's a little scary & I'm afraid one of these days it will hit at a totally bad time. I just keep praying & trusting God will keep us safe.

A side-effect of this tiredness is that I'm very cranky. It's very disorienting & it seems that noise makes it worse. And my kids are noisy. Unfortunately, they often get grumped at. I try not to...

So if I'm talking to you & seem to space out, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. I don't know why this is going on & every test i have done comes out normal. I'm working on coping strategies, but until I get used to this & get better at living with, I'm sorry!